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Funny Baseball QuotesA baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
When they start the game, they don't yell, "Work ball." They say, "Play ball."
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
A baseball park is the one place where a man's wife doesn't mind his getting excited over somebody else's curves.
There have been only two geniuses in the world. Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.
Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
Confucius say: Baseball wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.
With the money I'm making, I should be playing two positions.
Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. Aren't we all?
Cricket is baseball on valium.
Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you Doctor.
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.
I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on the batter a rally.
Let no one accuse baseball of not being tough on drugs. During his baseball career, Steve Howe was given 7 lifetime suspensions.
I could never play in New York. The first time I came into a game there, I got into the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.
On his own scouting report: "Very deceptive. Slower than he looks.
A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, 'Should I spike myself ?
Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist.
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